Sunday, December 25, 2011

We Have Arrived

You know you're a real Missourahn when...

Santa knocks on your front door at 10:30 Christmas Eve night but instead of wearing a red suit he's wearing a gun and a badge. (You know you're a real parent of teenagers when the first thought to enter your mind upon seeing said santa is, "What did those boys do!")
And instead of bringing presents he brings a message that your black and white cows are out on the highway so you spend a good chunk of the night running around in the dark and cold rattling a bucket and hollering "Here girls!" at the top of your lungs and end up climbing through the over-grown woods getting hung up on thorn bushes and tripping over fallen trees and cutting fence knowing full well you will later have to take the time and headache of mending but there is nothing else to do. Then they all follow you home like a bunch of little (ok, actually big, huge) puppy dogs wagging their tails behind them.

You're even more a real Missourahn when the next morning you get up, get in your Christmas Sunday best and are heading down the driveway with your family on the way to church only to glance across the pasture to the distant treeline and notice a herd of white belts strolling among the trees on their way out to the highway so you find yourself quickly back in jeans and muck boots (but still with diamond earings on--cause I can!) climbing on the four-wheeler again with your trusty bucket to go search for the renegade oreos. And my hair had just happened to have been looking so good that morning too! Of course that was all over after I had run around the pasture with the wind whipping through it.

But that's how it is because, finally, after all this time, I think, I really feel like I just might have, afterall, become a real missourahn.

Merry Christmas!

Anybody want a cow?!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Joe's Unfortunate Birthday

Once again it was time for Joe's birthday.
Once again he started in with his expectations of receiving the new Call of Duty game for his birthday.
Each year the new game comes out a couple of weeks before Joe's birthday and he spends the entire year letting us know THAT is what he wants for his gift.
Every year we tell him that we will NOT buy that game for him. Then we find some way to hide it at gift-giving time (last year it was in the bottom of the box of the shoes he received) so he spends a little time thinking he really did not receive the game as a gift.
This year he absolutely refused to believe me when I told him we would not buy him the game.
It was time to take it to a new level.
We got the new game, Modern Warfare 3. We spent a long time working very carefully to open the thin plastic wrap around the case without tearing it. Finally accomplishing that goal, we slid the MW3 game out and replaced it with Joe's copy of Modern Warfare 2. Using a little double-sided tape we got the plastic wrap closed back up all neat and nice.
We wrapped the old MW2 game (now in its shiny new plastic wrap) in gift paper and put it with the other gifts we got for Joe. We took the copy of the new game, MW3, and put it way down inside one of the muck boots we were giving him. We wrapped the boots back up in their plastic and boxed them back up all nice and new.
Hee hee hee
Thanksgiving morning, after breakfast, we brought all the kids in and explained that we wanted to give Joe his birthday gifts a few days early. He was born on Thanksgiving morning so even though it is a different date this year, we can still give him gifts on Thanksgiving, right? Besides, we wanted him to have time to enjoy his gifts while he was out of school a few days since he is not allowed to play video games on school days.
Joe saw the gift shaped like the video game and his hand went to that one immediately. We slowed him down and made him open his other gifts.
First, a MW3 promo pack they handed out at the release of the game: cool t-shirt, stickers, dog tags, etc.
Joe was very excited about that.
Then came the big box with the muck boots. Joe opened the box, laughed at the boots, and set it aside.
Now the big moment! Joe reached across the table, picked up the video-game-shaped gift and began tearing the paper. A few seconds later he became very quiet. I looked down and asked him what was wrong. He tilted the game towards me so I could see the cover. There in beautiful brazen lettering was Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2!
A million emotions shot across Joe's face in a half second.
Jason took notice and a doubtful look began to form on his face (Oscar moment!).
I began to apologiz to Joe, explaining that I told Dad to get the "new" Modern Warfare game, I didn't explain it well enough I guess. Jason looked all confused and asked if that wasn't the new game... he saw that it had a 2 on it... that's the new one, right?!
Joe was bouncing between severe disappointment and concern for his dad's feelings.
Jason started carrying on about feeling like such an idiot and how sorry he was. Joe immediately launched into reassuring his dad that it was o.k., it was no big deal, don't feel bad dad.
Seth stood behind me, whispering into my ear what horrible, sick, twisted parents we are.
I just don't know where he'd get such an idea!
After a bit Jason and Joe decided that they would go to the store in a couple of days to see if they could get a refund on the "wrong" game--since it was still in its nice, new, shiny plastic wrap.
Oh well, Joe wasn't going to get to spend the weekend glued to his new game afterall.
Everyone kind of wandered out of the room and Joe sat at the table looking pretty dejected for a while.
Finally Jason came back through and reminded Joe that the boots looked a little big and he should try them on.
Joe put a foot into one of the boots.
The WRONG boot!
He wiggled his toes around and checked it all out.
Seemed to fit o.k.
I suggested he put the other boot on and walk around to make sure they didn't rub his heels or anything.
The other foot started to slip into its boot when we were suddenly met with accusations of being the most horrible parents in the world and how Joe could NOT believe we did that to him AGAIN, etc.
But, ya know, after spending the last several months hiding around corners to jump out at me--shoving pictures and video trailers of this game in my face, or talking relentlessly about it, or trying to tell me why I needed the game, or filling up my DVR with commercials for the stupid thing, JOE DESERVED IT!
And yes, we are sick, twisted parents but he will never forget his birthdays, will he?!

Zombie Duck

Over the years my children have watched me make various duck cakes for different parties. There has been the cubscout duck, the Easter duck, the Phantom of the Opera duck. For his birthday this year Joe decided he wanted a duck for himself.
So, I give you... Zombie Duck!:

And with Joe around we eventually had a "crawler" of course!

And you can't have a birthday cake without fire!

Friday, November 25, 2011

A Dollop of Sunshine

Near the end of November, on a cold and blustery day, my daylily decided to bloom. The little bugger must have plenty of sunshine in his heart.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

And so the Week comes to a Close

Another hunting season is ending. A buck for every boy. Our freezers are fat and happy with the great bounty of this year. It has been a good season.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

And the winner is.....!

There will be no living with him now!

Button, button, who has the button?

David went out yesterday morning to get a nice donor doe. After a wait, a good deer walked out from the trees. This looked like a nice doe. David took aim and made the shot. A great shot that grazed the heart and hit the lungs.
Upon inspecting the deer they found that rather than a doe, it was a button buck--a buck with two little button "points" (although they don't really count as points) on its head.
I guess David is still trying to catch up with Jason's 8-point-plus-9 1/2-point lead. Maybe he's just a natural buck hunter.
Everyone got antsy because these guys only have one buck tag left and Joe really wanted it so he could still try for a big buck. Luckily this little guy qualifies as "anterless" and can go on one of those tags. Whew! That was a close one!
Oh well, no donor doe, they'll have to settle for a donor buck instead.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Seth's Turn

With Joe getting a 4, Jason getting an 8, and David getting a 16 we figured Seth would have to get either a 2 or a 32 point buck. Instead he got this awesome 6 pointer and shut us all up.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Eight Points for Jason

...which makes him half the man David is?
No, no--Jason informs me this eight point combined with the 9 1/2 point buck he has here at home (on the wall) combines to make more points than David. Jason is still top dog!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Go Vote!

David is entered in a deer hunting contest. Please go vote for him. You can vote once a day every day until the contest ends. Please encourage all your friends to vote for him! Click here for the vote page

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Joe's Buck

Joe got him a little 4 point buck this evening. He shot it at the bottom of the neck and put the bullet straight through the heart. This kid is king of the incredible shots every year!

Prizes all around!

Even Rufus brought home a prize and was happy to pose for a show-off picture too!

David's First Deer

...and it was a 16 point monster!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Student of the Week

So my first thought was, "whom did he bribe?"
Then I remembered that the boy just made his last payment for his class--therefore he is totally broke.
So now I wonder where he got the money to make the bribe!
Way to go Seth, we're proud of ya! :)

Missouri Morning

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

'Tis the Season

Time for the Black Walnut Dance! Shake those trees!
(Jason is gonna kill me!)

My nutty guys